intro

i walk into the card shop and our eyes lock
slowly i pull out my deck box
wizardly i roll up my sleeve
i point my finger and shout at thee

chorus

card battle me!
show me your strategy
just don't get mad at me
cause I am packin' heat

yo card battle me!
show me your strategy
just don't get mad at me
cause I am packin' heat

verse 1

if this is serious yo, come at me manaly tho
magically you will see a plan to beat ya
it'll take two turns, me attacking, you slacking
play my whole hand and summon a krakken
lightning bolts give ya jolts quickly dash ya hopes
cuz my god of a draw gives ya frowny face emotes
is your game on slow? are your graphics on low?
cause the deck you inspect is run by michaelangeflow
first i hit your hand and then i hit your head
i sandwich this damage between a piece of bread
this rampage so savage i'm racking up the math
i manage to banish your permanents in half
this vantage of carnage will leave you discarded
and soon we'll find out who's deck is the largest
let me welcome you to the card academy
i bet the first one to say "Yo Card Battle Me!"

chorus

verse 2

what ya doing? it's turn two and
you haven't even played any spells or runes
no lands, no mans, no monstrous mutants
i got a whole zoo and you're totally ruined
watch my hustle, my shuffle, you're surely out muscled
you must've not needed these pieces to your puzzle
meanwhile i've mustered my whole card combo
i hope it's not a problem i beat you with commons
sit back watch me attack with my decks ponyta
as you guess i am the best quest pack opener
summon the sickness i'm the quickest as I wreck on ya
after death you be reppin' my deck list ya
this is an open invitation to come and fight me online
noobomancer is where you'll find me, i can't promise to be kind
the same goes for what i'm saying in the IRL
if you don't want me to put you into ELO hell
i rack the rage quits like the page hits
because these mage hands they cause cave ins
i click the slaying for all occasions
i make you put your whole collect up for sale on craigslist

chorus