chorus it's the dark ages and we're mages slayer agents for the aether and these pages are our aegis because on paper we're more than just players it's the dark ages and we're mages slayer agents for the aether and these pages are our aegis because on paper we're more than just players verse 1 let us begin, i'm your dm i'm here to guide you through the demons that lie within because the real life can be a real big pile of shit these are the techniques needed to survive with them on the outside, chastise, casting in so pick a class and we'll ask our friends to join in a defensive maneuver will secure the win because games are always better with the guardians i've gathered you all together in this dark room if you're brave there's a maze and it leads to a tomb you turn left, you turn right and you're soon consumed one false move and it spells your doom you find a half drawn map that's graphed in blood obtained from the remains of the last to succumb take a path through the crack, off the cliff that you plunge obstacles overcome equals treasures you've won this paper shapes a different view of absolute aptitude haven't you wanted to be much more than servitude if you dudes only knew what ahead awaited you get a clue when we're through cause we are the fated few we'll embark on adventure, a new world we'll enter imagination surrenders to the wondrous splendor we'll cast of the chains and break through the cages release all our rages, realize we're just mages chorus verse 2 i brought you to this tavern so that we can explore caverns i hope you brought some lanterns, it's gonna be all hazards i hope you brought some answers, it's gonna be all patterns i hope you brought some counters, it's gonna be all mancers these goblins they hold problems, these kolbolds they hold troubles i had to break your baubles, turn your golems into rubble hippogriffs are hittin' crits, inner depths hold hidden crypts treasure chests got runic glyphs, peppermints for dragon breaths a trial and test of the friendship quest cause the dm's impressed with your role playing prowess it's a habitual ritual, free from all the ridicule i pity fools digital, we're all individuals you get a fistful of crystals to cast magic missiles the potions dissolve into a vision of vigils these blizzards will hinder, these wizards will cinder we'll all have some fun summoning a familiar the dragon grants you a wish that helps you manifest opportunities you might have otherwise missed it opens up a rift exiting the abyss you take the first steps forward into the infinite it's a portal from the normal so leave the lands of mortals it's a formula that transforms dorks into warriors this aura of ours it the kind they make stories of the oracles will probably all sing the glory of chorus

verse 1 what the fuck is up with the human race when we can't get into outer space we're running out of space and many resources tell the captain to set some new courses i thought we used to be dudes who built ships sail to continents and fucking conquer it now we're just dudes who make too many kids living in debt to some dumb government i am pissed that astrophysicists can't manage to convince this is the reason we exist i be the first to convert on the leaving earth list you all been dissed but you surely wont be missed and you can kiss the shiny ass of my metallic spaceship as i travel outer space getting hella wasted off this cosmic radiation in my space station emancipation chorus oh why can't we get space flight yet? why are they keeping it a secret? held for wealthy philanthropists who have the resources to invest oh why can't we get space flight yet? why are they keeping it a secret? held for wealthy philanthropists who have the resources to invest verse 2 this is a warning, we better start exploring touring for worlds that are ripe for terraforming our performance thus far has been less than reassuring we need a permanent solution to this endless journey starting to unravel over no space travel society quarrels over its mindless babble and in your eye wholes i will smash all this gravel as my craft blasts off into cosmic battle we really don't wanna be the last ones to get our fleets over on to mecatal rex better figure out this damn energy crisis break free from our solar nexus i guess next i'll have to get elected campaign off this mic-checked message that would be the most pragmatic schematic for the galactic chorus

verse 1 lalalalala just walkin' down the street when... what in the heck??? yo portland, what's the word? i am just a nerd here to rap about turds i mean do we need all these feces hidden underneath all these dead leaves i mean please, take your bathroom needs to somewhere else where i can't see i don't want to have step up in your crep have to clean off my kicks cause you're high on meth no disrespect, just respect the road the next time you're thinking about laying a load i am taking this load up off my mind just don't leave yours if you could be so kind and I get it, sometimes you need to go and you're thinking to yourself "well i'm a make it a show!" so you take your chance, and drop your pants and get ready to do that doody butt dance you do the doody butt dance you do the doody butt dance you do the doody butt dance you do the doody butt dance chorus i said they're poopin' on the streets they're poopin' on the streets better watch where you're going gonna get it on your feet i said they're poopin' on the streets they're poopin' on the streets better watch where you're going gonna get it on your feet verse 2 it's foul, how you're releasing your bowels in downtown right next to powells willamette, mercury as your paper towels and the look you give my face, yes it is a scowl this is a heart to heart about your shart in the park this is a shot in the dark, it ain't no fart of the bark in between two food carts on stark in between two carts at the shopping mart maybe you're new to the land of subarus we got dudes making doods right out in plain view how rude, from the waist down you are nude got me running the other way, like you're paying with poo paving with poo? eeeeeeewwwwww..... chorus outro and when I'm walking to the cab step in some crap walking to the plaid step in some crap walking to the max step in some crap you all know it makes me mad when i step in some crap

intro i walk into the card shop and our eyes lock slowly i pull out my deck box wizardly i roll up my sleeve i point my finger and shout at thee chorus card battle me! show me your strategy just don't get mad at me cause I am packin' heat yo card battle me! show me your strategy just don't get mad at me cause I am packin' heat verse 1 if this is serious yo, come at me manaly tho magically you will see a plan to beat ya it'll take two turns, me attacking, you slacking play my whole hand and summon a krakken lightning bolts give ya jolts quickly dash ya hopes cuz my god of a draw gives ya frowny face emotes is your game on slow? are your graphics on low? cause the deck you inspect is run by michaelangeflow first i hit your hand and then i hit your head i sandwich this damage between a piece of bread this rampage so savage i'm racking up the math i manage to banish your permanents in half this vantage of carnage will leave you discarded and soon we'll find out who's deck is the largest let me welcome you to the card academy i bet the first one to say "Yo Card Battle Me!" chorus verse 2 what ya doing? it's turn two and you haven't even played any spells or runes no lands, no mans, no monstrous mutants i got a whole zoo and you're totally ruined watch my hustle, my shuffle, you're surely out muscled you must've not needed these pieces to your puzzle meanwhile i've mustered my whole card combo i hope it's not a problem i beat you with commons sit back watch me attack with my decks ponyta as you guess i am the best quest pack opener summon the sickness i'm the quickest as I wreck on ya after death you be reppin' my deck list ya this is an open invitation to come and fight me online noobomancer is where you'll find me, i can't promise to be kind the same goes for what i'm saying in the IRL if you don't want me to put you into ELO hell i rack the rage quits like the page hits because these mage hands they cause cave ins i click the slaying for all occasions i make you put your whole collect up for sale on craigslist chorus

intro hey girl, i see you over there wearing that batman t-shirt let me tell you a little something about me, and batman chorus i might not be as cool as batman but i'll eat you out like a hungry fat man pet your pretty kitty like a gentle cat man go wakka wakka like my name is pacman verse 1 please don't turn me down if you think that i'm wingless you wanna get off, lemme show you how i bring this i am the linguist distinguished for my skills and cunnilingus cause i don't spend my time thwarting tiny little penguins i like the tiny little pink ones, the really thick stink ones the ones that look like foreheads of the angry face klingons that goof he jumps from roofs, i jump into my tooths he's riddling i'm fiddling with tongue karate moves i might even touch your boobs, while he's wrestling on some dudes i like my poison ivy lively so I dig it from the roots have you ever spent halloween dressing as harley quinn waiting for a bat to come and reprimand your actions all that i be asking is let me do the masking you'll wonder how it is you wound up up inside my mansion chorus verse 2 okie-dokie i ain't joking, quit your laughing get to moaning best to bet upon the pony with no parental atoning that bat is kinda wack, i give your booty a smack he's to busy with his pact, i'll lick you down to your crack batsy is more into theatrics than an acrobatic thespian i'll have you confused you be sleeping with a lesbian be your boy wonder bread, get you up on my bed make you wonder how it is you ever lived without me giving head you can use a little help, loose that utility belt cause i spit that lazarus pit like you've never even felt a bat crest rests all upon your chest i wonder why you've got to mess such beautiful breasts i guess you've yet to be impressed by my master caress you'll know that michaelangeflow is surely the best cause he's got a fatter wang than the man with the batarang mad hatter your bladder with a bang that'll make you sang chorus outro babe, i wanna brave your bat cave be like the alfred to your bruce wayne i said babe, i wanna brave your bat cave i wanna break your back like i'm your bane

gimmie the loot gimmie the loot loot gimmie those fucking toys verse 1 here's another song about myself but it's also about the stuff up on my shelf a trove that grows in size and wealth every time there is an isle i delve lemme take you back to the age of twelve when all my friends were cast into hell and the repercussions is my story to tell a decision to which that i would rebel now i'm digging for childhood artifacts transformers gi joes and thundercats estate and rummage sales i'm up in that i got flea market yard sale contrabands i buy a ninja turtle for half a buck it is just my luck i throw them into the trunk dunk them in the tub and scrub off the muck throw them in the pile then i scrooge mcduck chorus cause i'm a toy hunter and i'm hunting for fun i like action figures that are missing their guns i like date stamps prior to ninety one i like the thrill of the thrift and i live for the hunt cause i'm a toy hunter and i'm hunting for fun i like action figures that are missing their guns i like date stamps prior to ninety one i like the thrill of the thrift and i live for the hunt verse 2 michaelangeflow, make a mental note i hunt the retro to pay the rent yo hasbro, mattel, tomy and remco lego and nintendo converts to endo but the best is when it glows in the dark dinosaurs made before jurassic park and when i get inspired i turn 'em into art you say "michaelangeflow, where do i start?" well many toy companies identified properly copy these novelties to your brain scholarly obviously some of these toys are much commonly and identifying rarity is like hitting the lottery is this a whole bag of action figure accessories for two dollars? yeah i'll buy that chorus verse 3 get your kid out of this isle i smile and dive right past your child i am digging for childhood remnants some evidence of my past tense high off proust's madeleines gambling on abandonments i make new friends in garage sale bins outcast diecast garbage pale kids monsters robots vinyl plastics dungeons, dragons, basements, attics lemme in your basement lemme in your attic lemme in your basement lemme in your attic lemme in your basement lemme in your attic if there's toys in that shit that i gotta fucking have it chorus

verse 1 i'm here to warn you about a scam disguised as education cause it is definitely a trend that is sweeping on our nation and this warning i'm recording is my social obligation cause we're dying on the table like a healthcare-less patient they are coaxing those who are yearning to learn those who can't comprehend all the words and the terms those who've yet to understand our unstable world so they've yet to find the courage to diverge from the herd they are a corporation disguised as a college draining young minds of their times and their wallets making massive profits off of enterprised knowledge cause they think that no one will ever stop them but if opportunity comes stacked in advance the back payments make you a slave to the banks but the pursuit of happiness it ain't happenstance as it happens i'll fight back with this angry chant chorus cause we got student loans always calling our phone always mailing our home always gnawing our bone it's a debt trap and you're not a loan so i am dropping these bombs by rapping this song we got student loans always calling our phone always mailing our home always gnawing our bone it's a debt trap and you're not a loan so i am dropping these bombs by rapping this song verse 2 the government is a scam, uncle sam is a bank take a loan from a shark and you'll swim in the tank mentor creditors, academic predators how can you be bettered now that you're a debitor this ain't a joke song, there are real people struggling it's troubling how quickly this debt starts doubling it's humbling how numbing my nativity stunned me a back page story from a first world country and the only thing i've discerned in the learn is how to take a person and turn them into a surf so please heed this message and do your research they've got fund sucking leeches disguised as teachers payments lower than the interest in the interest of business cause you've can't have a system without cracking a few victims it's the promise of progress at it's most obvious when you walk around and you feel all this hotness this world is a hot mess everything is a contest boiling our frogness with the promise of progress if i'm being honest then please write to congress we should probably just ban all schools for profit education should be free, it's something we all need break the wheels of greed and let order proceed basically we'll all bleed if it means to succeed but student loans pose a threat just like any disease chorus

verse 1 well everybody talks like this world sucks that you're gonna need the bucks so you should play the stocks well i'm playing starfox on my modded xbox listening to hip hop as i spark up the pot and i push out these thoughts i put life on pause as i got get lost while i'm breaking traffic laws we've all got flaws mine's throwing pokeballs i'm surprised i stop long enough to even write this song chorus i have no self control i have no self control i just want to play video games i have no self control i have no self control i just want to play video games verse 1 well i'm sorry about your party where i found your 64 and started carting but i'd rather roll a spliff with katamari make out with coleco or atari but darling, dont be mad this donkey kong he ain't so bad let's start a dance revolution or a contra band see who can win the lap as fast as they can but man, i wasn't listening to what you said i was definitely playing with a pokemon instead and when i'm making bread you know i gotta break out stun an ice giant with a fos ro dah shout chorus verse 3 i mean, how do you feel about guys who go hadouken i'm playing ds while my computer is rebooting this technopathy technically makes me a mutant across the usa i am boosting and cruising let's turn a new leaf harvest the moon light punch a brick wall get a mushroom bite collect all the rings in the entire kingdom extra controller i wont forget to bring them i am shirking the working i should be doing the screen is serene and i am screwing around in the world with the stereo sound i have my mantra and i shout it loud chorus

verse 1 my mommas type was a ground the dation of our found the vibration of our sound oh so patient and proud exclamation to the crowd excavation of the crown i wear it over my head so that i can hid the frown and she taught us how to battle shook bottles and rattles until we were all adults manifesting our own powers and in the final hour we shaked and we cowered but she was brave and she flowered for the sake of her dower chorus and now we're just cubones and it was such a cute home and now it's just a tomb stone and we feel all alone but yeah we're just cubones and it was such a cute home and now it's just a tomb stone so i guess we'll move on verse 2 i thought i knew how much it meant to have you as my parent because it's apparent you were always caring some kids don't get good breeders some gyms don't get good leaders and it becomes much more clearer when i look into the mirror so thanks for all the bones and thanks for all the phones for letting me roam while still having a home i'm sorry about the groans and the student loans and how i wish, i could be back in your arms chorus verse 3 this life is more than just a task it all happens too fast your love was more than i could ask this pain is more than i can mask it was a beautiful rock blast this is a dutiful skull cap and underneath, your memories will proceed to last chorus

verse 1 in the future past years after the apocolapyse i release some screen shots and everyone is pissed cause it's only teaser footage and there's no clear view of what that it is i'm about to do to you kaboom! i make a mouthy monsoon like fucking jesus christ i arise from the tomb the doom! deathly danger it looms as i summon power moves from every cartoon i pound through the ground with a crash i assault on your town with a slash i pick up a tanker truck, full of gas light up a missile silo, full of grass and all your valleys will totally be torn all your rivers will totally be skorned send a press release and get ready to mourn because this is my final form chorus this is my final form this is the reason i was born i said this is my final form and all of ya'll have just been warned verse 2 my final form is a beast, it's a force unleashed it's a sword unsheathed, attack of words and beats attack your world i hurl energy from the sun a megaton of fun transformed into a gun my final form is a dinosaur and i'm roaring instantaneously play all games, i'm high scoring and i'm followed by a dedicated team who's recording every firey spit of saliva i'm pouring my end phase is a laser demon and i'm blazing get in my way and i'll punch your whole face in knock you out the city to a wasteland location because you have to see this is a special occasion chorus verse 3 my final form is a megazord, this is a warning if you laugh at my path, you will get a quick swording cause my laugh is a blast, it's a thunder of snorting and your math is so whack, i'm the rick to your morty mutate, end phase, and i feel amazing last stage, full of rage, if you know what i'm saying and if you don't understand, i will explain it in laymans if you're gonna start some shit then i'm going super saiyan ka-ma-do-ha-ka-ma-do-ha! chorus