chorus

it's the dark ages and we're mages
slayer agents for the aether
and these pages are our aegis
because on paper we're more than just players

it's the dark ages and we're mages
slayer agents for the aether
and these pages are our aegis
because on paper we're more than just players

verse 1

let us begin, i'm your dm
i'm here to guide you through the demons that lie within
because the real life can be a real big pile of shit
these are the techniques needed to survive with them
on the outside, chastise, casting in
so pick a class and we'll ask our friends to join in
a defensive maneuver will secure the win
because games are always better with the guardians
i've gathered you all together in this dark room
if you're brave there's a maze and it leads to a tomb
you turn left, you turn right and you're soon consumed
one false move and it spells your doom
you find a half drawn map that's graphed in blood
obtained from the remains of the last to succumb
take a path through the crack, off the cliff that you plunge
obstacles overcome equals treasures you've won
this paper shapes a different view of absolute aptitude
haven't you wanted to be much more than servitude
if you dudes only knew what ahead awaited you
get a clue when we're through cause we are the fated few
we'll embark on adventure, a new world we'll enter
imagination surrenders to the wondrous splendor
we'll cast of the chains and break through the cages
release all our rages, realize we're just mages

chorus

verse 2

i brought you to this tavern so that we can explore caverns
i hope you brought some lanterns, it's gonna be all hazards
i hope you brought some answers, it's gonna be all patterns
i hope you brought some counters, it's gonna be all mancers
these goblins they hold problems, these kolbolds they hold troubles
i had to break your baubles, turn your golems into rubble
hippogriffs are hittin' crits, inner depths hold hidden crypts
treasure chests got runic glyphs, peppermints for dragon breaths
a trial and test of the friendship quest
cause the dm's impressed with your role playing prowess
it's a habitual ritual, free from all the ridicule
i pity fools digital, we're all individuals
you get a fistful of crystals to cast magic missiles
the potions dissolve into a vision of vigils
these blizzards will hinder, these wizards will cinder
we'll all have some fun summoning a familiar
the dragon grants you a wish that helps you manifest
opportunities you might have otherwise missed
it opens up a rift exiting the abyss
you take the first steps forward into the infinite
it's a portal from the normal so leave the lands of mortals
it's a formula that transforms dorks into warriors
this aura of ours it the kind they make stories of
the oracles will probably all sing the glory of

chorus